She has become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds

Is this another vague reference to my fiancee?  You bet your sweet ass it is.

Many of you are probably unaware, but my fiancee has a history of bringing death and destruction to those she holds dear by merely planning to go see them.  That might seem a little strange, perhaps "unintentional" or "a complete coincidence" to a lot of you "reading" this.  Be warned, for this might possibly be your only warning before her terrifying power consumes the very nature of your spirit, bringing you humbly to your knees before the very light of your soul is extinguished.

Let us begin this journey.

When my fiancee plans a trip to go see someone she loves, namely, celebrities, there's been an uncanny pattern of her killing/maiming/drawing to great sickness those she's going to see.  The first case is with the band DC Talk.  For those of you who might not regularly delve into the unimaginable pain that is listening to Contemporary Christian Music, DC Talk was one of the very few bands that manage to actually create legitimate music in the genre.  Loving Jesus herself, as well as legitimate music, my fiancee was/is an incredible fan. Then, one day, she finally had the opportunity to go see them.  She bought tickets, and her little heart was full of glee.  And then, tragedy struck:  they broke up.  Now, some of you may say "Matthew, that is sheer coincidence."  To which I reply, "Here comes the science."

A very similar situation happened with Micheal Jackson.  My fiancee is, quite possibly, the greatest Michael Jackson fan in the known universe, so you can imagine her excitement when she was able to procure tickets to go watch a live show in London.  However, her wicked power proceeded her and caused him to die.  That's right, she's responsible for the death of Michael Jackson.

But certainly this can only be a coincidence?

Within a relatively similar time frame of these actions, she had made the mostly wise decision to go see Elton John and Billy Joel in concert.  She was incredibly excited, as you can imagine.  Of course, by "incredibly excited," I mean "filled with malice and murderous intent."  They were struck with food poisoning/swine flu, and it was yet another concert that was delayed. 

Surely you see the true darkness of her powers by now. 

These events led her to take a trip to Hawaii (exchange for the London ticket).  Warm beaches, coconut drinks, flowers, tiny, expensive islands...what could possibly go wrong?

The massive Chilean earthquake and a subsequent tsunami warning for the lovely state of Hawaii.  She nearly destroyed it with her mere presence.  You can imagine my hesitation when she came to visit me while I was living in Philadelphia.

Luckily, I escaped unscathed. The same can't be said for the countless thousands* that have fallen to her indirectly destructive powers.

*this is a rough estimate. 

I pray that...for all who may try to befriend this troubled, distant soul, that you be wary of what may befall you.  Or, to say more simply, don't ever let her visit you.  That's why I never allow her to leave her home...it's so no one can get hurt.

...again.